To think

Lately, I have been stagnant with my faith. I have so many goals to reach with it but I never really came around to them. I know that's not an excuse, but it's the truth. In the back of my mind I want to spiritually increase, but so many things, esp. school is keeping my from that. I understand the majority of the situation is on me because I am the one who should make time. I just feel really guilty because I don't feel like I've been pleasing Him. He deserves so much, yet I give him 1/4 of all I have. I keep telling myself, "I need to reignite this fire". I know there's a lot of people feeling this way & yes it's quite difficult. You know you want to set your mind on him, but you're so use to living your life's routine that you get caught off gaurd sometimes. I just feel like I owe it all to Him, like the moment we first met. Cause once He's on top, then everything will fall into place. Plus, it's the time when He's going to come back. The signs are obvious & the time is near. However, it is a bittersweet feeling. I'm excited for His return, yet I feel like I am not ready. & I'm afraid, that what if He comes & I wasn't one of the chosen... I know it's wrong to think that way, but I'll only be confident, once I feel the completeness. Cause right now, there's something misssing. Maybe the whole is filled, but there's no reaction. Please pray for me & so will I for you. We all need that assurance.